Tonsils, huh yeah, What are they good for?

"Aaaaargh!"
"Why do you scream so?" you might ask
"Because my tonsils have litis" I might reply.

An easier way of getting this point across would be to tell you, rather concisely, that I have tonsillitis.

Woop de doo Basil.

Pros of this illness include; I get to eat a diet of mash potato, spaghetti hoops, soup and yoghurt!

Cons of this illness include; My throat feels like a hedgehog wearing a suit made of sandpaper is doing Zumba in my throat whilst his friend, a porcupine, is throwing nails around whilst using my gullet as a back-scratching post. Which interestingly, is how I got tonsillitis in the first place... funny how life works out!
(Are Hedgehogs and Porcupines friends or enemies? Discuss.)

In between the pain, the pain killers and the gratuitous amounts of soup I am ingesting, I have begun to question the need for my tonsils.

So I looked it up on the internet, which I have nowadays, and it said the following;


But why Tonsils? A Blog about Tonsils.
Tonsils are awesome! Without your Tonsils you would instantly die of every illness known to man. Even illnesses that are not airborne or that you get from ingestion, such as migraines or stubbing your toe.

Basically, all illnesses and accidents start by going into your mouth first and your tonsils stop them by having a super kickass ninja fight and sometimes their are explosions and cars on fire but in the end YOU win because your tonsils win.

Occasionally you will get tonsillitis but that is just because your tonsils fought something massive like the plague or trench foot... they'll be back on their feet soon don't you even worry!

George Washington had his Tonsils out and now he is dead, Will Smith didn't... and he is very much alive!!!!


After reading this I though, gosh Tonsils seem important! Better not ever speak to a doctor about having those removed. However I later discovered that that was an excerpt from a blog by;

What an official looking logo that I didn't draw on paint

The Eastern United States Church of St. Tonsil of Assissi (The E.U.S.C.S.T.A if you will) are an incredibly right wing religious group who strongly believe Jesus died on the cross to save our Tonsils from removal (also, they're quite racist...)

needless to say I believed everything they told me.

Unfortunately the debate as to whether or not I should remove my Tonsils has never come into question as, for some reason, despite the fact this is the umpteenth time I have had tonsillitis since 2009, the doctors won't remove them!

Now I am as attached to my tonsils as much as the next guy but at some point should I not get a say in the matter. Having your tonsils out doesn't even sound that bad according to Reddit user 'Quixotic', who says:

See, getting your tonsils out is a breeze, as long as you can exclusively breathe through your nose and you can get to Manhattan during the recovery process (I am not sure how that helps but it must do... I read it on reddit!)
Although, if we are using Reddit to support getting my tonsils out, perhaps I should also listen to reddit user, 'Andrewsmith1986' who says;

What I mainly take from this review of 'getting your tonsils out' is, if you try and remove them as a child, you become a super hero and destroy everything in your path before you get knocked out, are in a coma for three days and wake up feeling pretty awful.
Well seeing as I am no longer a child I see no problem.

However, none of this matters as I cannot have my tonsil's removed, not even for a bank holiday weekend or my birthday, as the doctor said unequivocally, "no".

"I will have to decline, as I have no head"

So I must live on, eating soup and other liquids pretending to be food! Could be worse though, I suppose, I could be on a diet of Coffee and Granola bars... Hot and Scratchy!

I do hope all of your second weeks of 2016 have gone smoothly, did any of you have tonsillitis? 

It has been an interesting week fraught with Junior Doctor's strikes, the movie 'The Martian' winning the best Musical/Comedy at the golden globes (I know right? That would have been a much more interesting topic to write a Blog about), and most of all this week has seen the passing of a great musician.

So, as a way of signing off respectably, I leave you with my favourite song by the late Mr David Bowie/Ziggy Stardust/Alladin Sane/Jareth, The Goblin King

Good Night...